129 – The art of deep listening with Oscar Trimboli
You’ve heard it said a million times. People are good at talking but very few of us are good listeners. That’s about to change. My guest this week is Oscar Trimboli, the jedi master of listening. Oscar Trimboli is on a quest to create 100 million Deep Listeners in the world. He is an author, Host of an Apple Award winning podcast and a sought-after keynote speaker.
Oscar is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces and the world. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organisations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organisations can have when they listen beyond the words.
The types of unconscious listeners
These kinds of listeners are superficial and lack impact.
What makes a great listener
1. Focus on what is being said, with eye contact, empathy and nodding to demonstrate you are listening. Provide physical signals that you are listening, not just ‘hearing’, what is being said. Repeat back or ‘clarify’ what has been said to confirm accuracy of details.
2. Giving one’s undivided attention to that person, reacting to their words with a yes or a nod or a smile from time to time,or asking the odd question for clarification if necessary.
3. Allowing the other person to speak and not interrupting. People often need to show their intelligence or knowledge and so they interrupt. A good listener is someone who used prompts at the right moments to encourage the other person to share further.
4. Someone who doesn’t interrupt. Someone who can keep their mind still. Someone who also asks the right questions to understand the issue deeper.
5. Someone who is ‘present’ and helps you discover a deeper place of what you’re trying to say or think, by asking ‘generously curious’ questions. They also leave space, and delight in it.
6. A good listener is someone who used prompts at the right moments to encourage the other person to share further.