143 – Give Yourself Permission to Be Human | Ft. Georgia Murch
Sometimes we flood our minds with unhealthy “should haves” and “what if’s.” Knowing how to let go of those thoughts will make us at peace with ourselves and others.
For this Podcast, we have invited the inspirational author Georgia Murch for a second interview. In her previous appearance, we talked about the fundamentals of organizational culture. Today, we had a very healthy conversation regarding the steps on how to stop being the number one critic of ourselves. In the middle of an already chaotic world, we sometimes tend to add on life’s pressures by being too hard on ourselves. However, we can be free from creating this internal pressure. We can do it by understanding that it is commonly brought about by our tireless urge to be the perfect version of ourselves.
Have the courage to stop denying who you are
The first thing to do before you can change a bad habit is to understand that you have one. And it takes a lot of courage to say that you have a problem within yourself. You should stop denying that there is nothing wrong with how you act and how you think. It takes greater courage to be comfortable with that fact. But after you have mustered that courage, you can now understand the root source of these issues. By following this healthy train of thought, you can prevent any future self-flagellation. For those first-timers, self-flagellation is a method of self-punishing because you have done the wrong thing. Instead, we ought to have self-acceptance. It takes courage to admit you have done wrong, but it is the right thing to do.
We are drawn on people who have made peace with their imperfections
Being at peace with your imperfections draws more people towards you. Instead of consistently trying to do the right thing and decision all of the time, people who have made peace with themselves have acknowledged that they can do wrong things. And they accepted this fact and owned the repercussions. Look outside for a tree. As Georgia beautifully related it, the tree is not embarrassed that it stands tall and casts a shadow. Nor does it think about how other trees are so much shorter or taller. Instead, it is just busy being a tree. As individuals, we must not be embarrassed by casting a shadow of imperfection. We must embrace it as a part of our nature, so we can live harmoniously with others.
Being real is better than being perfect
The study that mentioned the Pratfall Effect is mesmerizing. In that study, they have tested several clients of a psychiatrist. The researchers have made the clients be entertained with different doctors. One batch of doctors has made common human mistakes, such as dropping their pens or spilling their coffee. The other one seemed to be the perfect version of how a doctor should be. The result showed that the clients tend to choose the doctor who spilled their coffees and dropped their pens. This finding shows that we are more inclined, not to those with the perfect version, but to those we can relate to. Showing a natural human mistake is not a measure of imperfection but a result of being real.
Understand who you are through your triggers
Understanding your stressor will help you defeat the stress. Making peace with who you involves the great task of really knowing your triggers. You can do so by raising several questions such as, “What issues make me angry internally?” or “What are the things that give so much emotional burden to me?” Classifying at least three stressors can help us be eye-to-eye with the factors which cause our unwanted stress. And by knowing them, we can work our way to defeat and crush them.
Be obsessed with learning, not with being right
If you are obsessed with being right, it is so much difficult to learn things from others. This is because you see yourself primarily as the greater figure—the urge to be right clouds our vision to see things as they are. It is really hard to look at others’ points of view, learn about other people’s lives, explore the truth, and examine the information correctly if you are busy to be right and correct. Learning entails the concept of absorbing information instead of giving them out. This way, you can fight the urge and the internal tension to be constantly right and correct. It will also help other people to not be shied-away from your “always correct” and “all-knowing” attitude. Instead, it will create a more welcoming atmosphere that can work wonders, both for you and for other people.